Ten Men

…by the author of Sex and the City

Finished reading the book by candlelight nung brownout due to Milenyo.  It was interesting at first, pero mejo na-bore din ako sa gitna at halos d ko na tapusin yung book sa katamaran.  It’s nice naman.  Simple lng yng main thought:  the person you most likely will end up with is someone much like you.  Although di naman ganun yung ngyari sa story. hehe.

The Virgin - walang experience.  Needs a teacher. Hindi alam ang gusto sa buhay. Super upright.  Once he lost his virginity, naging feelingero na. Boring.

The Schoolmaster - husband material kuno kse stable. Lives in the school.  Much time for work and the students, no time for her.  Lacks quality time.

The billionaire - manloloko. thinks he can get away with everything dahil sa pera.  good provider though.  Thinks he is a God who can change lives.  He paid for her studies.  She thought she loved him — she needed him.  Money can blind your heart. nyak!

The Lord - respected, gentleman, mayaman. DOM ang dating pero kuripot. hehe. thinks he loves her kaso d nya maipakilala sa friends.  misses her so much each time but cannot live up to his feelings when their together.  age matters.

The actor -  bata, practical kse d naman mayaman. exciting nung una. masaya kasama. vibes kumbaga. nakalimutan ko na kung ano ngyari. hehe

The director - he has a wife. pa-cute lang. User. Gives false hopes. Wala lang. Hindi pwede. 

The one - a photographer who has two sons.  sensitive. loving father. great friend.  sa totoo lang yung anak naman talaga nya yung dahilan kung bakit sila nagkatuluyan.

Yung iba, nakalimutan ko na. hehe. The novel is very graphic. lalo na sa bed scenes na yung iba, hindi naman sa bed.

Ako? id be a hypocrite kung sasabihin kong d ko kailangan ng mayaman, gwapo at matalino.  pero, d ko nmn kailangan ng sobra. basta lang yung i don’t have to pay for our dates.  paminsan minsan lang pwede lalo na kung ako nagrequest ng resto.  hindi rin naman dapat sobrang gwapo, kse d rin nmn ako kagandahan.  ayoko namang pagtinginan ng tao at manliit kung sobrang gwapo ng kasama ko.  at lalong ayoko ng sobrang talino dahil mali-mali rin nman ako. gusto ko lang, yung maiintindihan ako, at miintindihan ko ang kanyang spokening english. hehehe. yung matatanggap ang mga arguments ko or yung kaya mag-come up sa sarili nyang arguments. (more…)

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You can’t see love in my eyes coz you’re blinded and my eyes are shielded by fear… fear of losing you just like that.  Fear of the day na makikita na lng kita bigla with someone else.  Fear na marealize ko that all these are not true.

Those eyes that make me feel mine is as beautiful…

Those lips that talk me sweet and make me wanna believe everything’s true and will eventually turn out right…

Daily trivial arguments… harsh words of criticism… useless doubts… doubtful lies… half-hearted laughs…

Mindful heart… stubborn mind… sympathetic soul…

Inspites… despites…

All these and more…  Nothing yet no less…

You. (more…)

Nababaliw na naman ako…

It’s the feeling of wanting to be happy or making myself seem happy in front of other people when in fact I really am not. I can’t even tell myself that I’m sad coz I don’t want to be and I think I’m pretty much not so naman. It’s just that something’s missing… Or that there’s something I’ve been wanting to have yet ang hirap hirap makuha.  Hindi lang kse ako sanay na I don’t easily get some things.  Most of the times naman, I want to get things kse I know it would be hard for me to get that thing.  Ok.  It’s not actually a thing. Haha.  Been feeling this way for quite some time now.  Nahihirapan na ako. Nagsasawa na ako sa feeling na ito. Haaay… Life talaga. 

Good thing school’s keeping me busy these days.  Really busy… pero may time pa rin ako for other things (like the thing I’ve been mentioning).  I’m so lucky in class… I always get called.  Happy naman.  No major booboos yet.  Wala pa nga ba?  Oh well… there’s this one class where I mistakenly said substantialize instead of substantiate.  At ang bait ng mga classmates ko para icorrect ako after laughing.  Halata naman na di sila nakikinig kse they suggested the word substantial, eh verb nga ang word ko! hahahaha.  I just had to laugh it off.  Mejo I wasn’t able to study the lesson naman kse thinking I won’t be called kse katatawag lang sakin last meeting.  In another class, that same day, mejo napakalayo ng sinagot ko sa tanong ng prof pero tinanggap naman nya.  That was my lucky day. hahaha.  I was sick naman kse that day and wala ako sa mood mag-aral.  Haaay talaga…

Happy naman ako this school year… kahit start pa lang.  I’m friendlier now kaya dami friends… kaso mashado naman daw akong pa-cute.  It’s like whenever I smile or talk to guys just to ask assignments or kung naintindihan nila yung isang provision, parang ang landi ko na naman.  There’s just this one person who notices that and who thinks na pa-cute nga ako.  Ewan ko ba.  Buti sana kung wala akong pakialam sa mga sinasabi nya. HHmmmp!  When I was this snob girl in campus, maraming naiinis sakin.  Ngayong I’m trying to be nice, may naiinis pa rin sakin. Ano na?!

Buti na lang talaga I have my friends to keep me sane… or to discourage me sa mga bagay na d ko na dapat pinagttyagaan.   Salamat mau sa paggising sakin sa katotohanan each time. salamat yel sa pagtolerate sa mga pinaggagagawa ko at paniniwalang mabait sya. salamat marie sa pakikinig sa mga paulit ulit na kwento at sa lahat ng mga sinasabi ko na puro tungkol lang nman sa kanya.  Salamat rin faith, lagi ka lang nanjan.  d ko na alam kung anong mga katangahang nagawa ko kung wala kayo. (more…)

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How am I supposed to show someone that I love (too strong a word) him? When I’m not even sure if that’s what I really feel?  Or am I just afraid to admit to myself my true feelings for fear that he might not feel the same (although he says he does)? I’m always caught in a situation where I don’t want to lose someone yet I don’t know what to do to make that person stay or whether or not that person really ought to stay.  Or if I do something to make him stay in my life, is he worth it? Is what I would say or do be the right thing? Would I be able to live up to that?

Hehe. Drama. Ang corny ko na naman. Di na ko nasanay sa sarili ko… lagi naman akong ganito. But now, I’m into taking risks na. Kesa I would let some things pass me by without even trying.  I don’t want to have more what-might-have-beens or ones-who got-away.

Pasukan na naman eh… kailangan ko magconcentrate at magpakabait. I don’t have a day for gimiks na kse sobrang hectic ang sched… 3 days yata yng 930pm ang uwian ko… tapos 2-3 subjects a day. That means almost 200 pages of a book, and more or less 15 cases (5+pages each) a night. I’m actually nervous, stressed, uncomfortable, afraid, scared (at iba pang synonyms)…

2 weeks

Spent a week waiting for my grades   Finished reading “WHat Looks Like Crazy (On an Ordinary Day)” …looks like love in the moonlight. *wink* Spent a lot for bus fares and fastfood dinners  Laughed a lot with friends and housemates  Got new “tropas” Had a few drinks Did something I wouldn’t have the guts to do if I stayed sober  Sang a lot of videoke songs kahit paos  Saw a lot of familiar faces in school Got the good news that I still qualify for 3rd yr Got higher than my usual grades in school Attended my first class, not knowing anything about the subject — Couldn’t care less if Saw an oversized baby rat lying dead in our apartment — I was tasked to put it away (shempre d ko kinaya yun) Bought books for this sem and started reading them right away Got new classmates — some I’m glad to be in the same room with, some I’d rather stay away from Got new prospects (joke lang) — single proprietor? ;) Still sick… OA na yung ubo ko  Got my first headache for not being able to comprehend what I’ve been reading for the last three days (more…)